Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Very difficult one. I have quite a few friends, and a select few who mean a great deal to me, but - and this is nothing against them - I really don't know whether they will stick with me for a long time into the future. You can never tell, can you? I think the only one I can say with any confidence I could remain friends with for a long time would be Mike, simply because we are so strong and very tight as friends, and I trust him more than anyone. The thought of not having him around even in a mild capacity frightens me, and I fear I would end up rudderless without him to confide in. He is a fantastic friend to me, and I can see ourselves, no matter where our lives take us, never loosing that friendship.
Funnily enough, I'm going to sort of mirror Emily's sentiments from her blog, as if Mike stays in my life, then it just goes without saying to me that Emily will be there as well. I've never known it any other way, and I can't see it being any other way, and quite frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way - Emily is a lovely person and I count her as one of my good friends :)
Again, this is no disrespect to any of my other friends, who all mean a lot to me, and I certainly HOPE they remain in my life for a long time yet, but who can say if they will or not? Time will tell.
As for marriage? I wish! That's still a long way away yet. There's hardly anyone I can see myself being with as lovers, let alone husband and wife. I'm getting better at dealing with this though - for years I was just so desperate to find a lover and enjoy a relationship because I feared I was somehow running out of time, and my life was whittling away the worse for it. It lead to quite a few mistakes on my part, regrets and even some moments I quite frankly cringe about now, and I'm now realising that there is no time limit, no rush. What happens will happen, and I'm much more content for it.
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